What is Stength?

Strength is not simply brute.  It can't always be measured in food pounds or watts.  Sometimes it is immeasurable, even invisible.  Silence, patience and focus are forms of strength; so are effort, intensity and the ability to confront pain and sit with it.  Strength is also seen in whimsy, expansion without fear, a large capacity for pleasure, an angry word withheld, compassion, a smile at an adversary, laughter relieving tension, the eye of a hurricane, a flower growing out of a rock.

Strength is not just victory, but the ability to fail with interity and take the lessons of losing and weakness as opportunities to learn.  Like love and wisdon, strength can never be bought or borrowed.  Like the earth, it can never be owned but it can be lived in and cultivated.  To keep it we must be constantly engaged in the search for it.  When we think we've found it and need look no more, we are weakened immediately.  And if we use it to bring harm against another in a show of force, then we are not truly expressing strength but power over - which earns us a cheap win, passing glory.  There's no victory in that because it brings no knowledge.  Such power fades after the rounds are fired.  Strength, however; when it is slowly, carefully constructed, with failure and frustration as part of the soup, can endure as legend, even beyond our lifetimes.

Such strength comes only with patience, application and honest self-assessment.  True strength, by its very definition, cannot come quickly.  Overnight strength is simply a mirage - no drugs, money or fame can get it for us, only seeking.

For strength to last, it must come in natural rythm and its purpose must be linked to something greater than just a passing wish or a trophy for the ego.  When it is hitched to a dream others can share, it gathers momentum and grows.  Each of us already owns a piece of it.  It grows stronger when we offer it freely in exchange.  Living in strength gives us no need to wear armor, but the courage to reveal ourselves as we are.

From Karen Andes'  A Woman's Book of Strength

Time Out for Mom!

This is for all the moms out there that occasionally feel that "I can't do this anymore!!!" feeling around their kids.  This is one of those days for me.  So I took a mom "time out". 


Parenting experts have often recommended that we, as parents, model problem solving behavior to our children.  Taking a breath, a moment, or a 'mom time-out' is an excellent opportunity to teach our kids how to deal with the stresses of life.


My favorite time out is spent on skates.  In-line skating makes me feel like I'm flying.  It gives me the speed I can't achieve while running, and the fluidity of gliding through the air.  When I am skating I am free.

Exercise is one of the most effective ways to deal with stress.  Just 30 minutes of any exercise can brighten the worst of attitudes.  Movement increases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in our brains that reduce pain and produce feelings of pleasure, similar to the action of morphine. Activity also boosts mood, decreases depression and anxiety, and improves self esteem.


Moms who exercise regularly experience a reduced physical response to emotional stresses compared to inactive moms, which means that those "I can't do this anymore" moments will happen less often when we make more time for regular exercise.


Being outdoors has its own advantages.  Exposure to sunlight increases our vitamin D production, reducing anxiety, and improving mood.  Just the sights and sounds of the outdoors can lift your spirits.

Exercise in general can have a profound effect on our ability to maintain focus and attention.  But exercising in a real-life environment, like a trail or the road, engages our brain in a way that improves concentration, focus, and awareness. 


When I am skating, I am continually monitoring my environment for sticks or stones on the pavement, passing cars, and neighborhood pets looking for a running mate.  Any unexpected obstacle can lead to a serious injury.  It is this intention and focus on what I am doing that trains my brain to experience everyday life completely in the moment.


So the next time  you feel the urge to scream at your kids, throw something, or just plain give up, give yourself a break, literally.  If you aren't able to leave the house, find a private place in your home to work it out.  Teach your children that sometimes mom needs to take a moment.  Jump rope, do some jumping jacks, push ups, or just take 5-10 minutes to do some much needed stretching.  You will be calming your nerves, improving your health, and teaching your children an invaluable lesson!!!