I had a patient come to see me the other day for help with weight loss, Mia. Her story is a great illustration of the phenomena of the rise in obesity in the US today. Mia came from the Philippines. In her home, she spent her days walking to and from classes at the university in which she worked. Her meals were always home cooked, using fresh ingredients that were often harvested and purchased within days of cooking. At age 30 she moved to the US, and within two years she gained 45 pounds.
When I asked Mia her thoughts on what may have been the root cause of her weight gain, she stated that she just hasn't been able to find that "balance" that American women have.
Balance : (from Mirriam-Webster online dictionary) : stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of a vertical axis ; physical equilibrium ; an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements ; (and my most favorite) mental and emotional steadiness.
I imagine a balanced life like a perfectly executed yoga pose....... held for hours. Can we truly have an equal distribution of life on each side of ourselves?
Images from tv, magazines and film begin to run through my mind. Pictures of a thin woman running on the beach at sunset,............a mom in a suit smiling peacefully as she hands her son his lunchbox before getting on the bus,.............a woman sitting in a very clean kitchen, having tea with her girlfriends while their toddlers play quietly in the other room.................
One great thing about having a photographer for a husband is having the opportunity to see what really goes into these photo shoots. Not only are the "mothers" models, but the perfectly behaved and groomed children, and even the settings are carefully selected and styled.
Our search for balance, and wholeness, can be a bit misguided, and often discouraging. Somehow we feel we've failed if we find it difficult to juggle going to work, taking our kids to practice, taking a class ourselves, read a book, meditate, go on a date with our spouse, and spend a half hour in meaningful conversation with our children ( and we're expected to add healthy eating and exercise to all of that?????????)
I was so happy when Desperate Houswives first came out with a character (Lynette) who was totally overwhelmed with her role as mother. Unfortunately over the years, her character has morphed into a superwoman, able to bring home the bacon, defeat corporate blockheads, single-handedly manipulate her husband to do whatever she wants, and tame unruly teens and grumpy old women.
Today's examples of women leave us desperately seeking to be so much more than we are. And my question to Mia is, "do American women really have balance?". Are we even searching for the right thing? I think what we are really looking for is peace. The peace we achieve through knowing our true loves, and our strengths, and focusing our lives around this. The peace that helps us get through the chaotic and trying times so we can enjoy the rest.
Mia's life was far more "balanced" in the Philippines than here in America today. And my advice to her was incredibly simple - quit trying to live like an American, and live like a filipino. She was skeptical. But healthy living isn't complicated. It starts with simple changes like buying fresh foods, and spending more time on your feet. Make one small change in your life each week, and see how easy it is to bring the balance into your life again.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
This is why Moms get Fat
"This is why moms get fat", I told my daughter, as she helped me clean the table after dinner. "What do you mean?" she asked. I said, "this....."(as I finished off the leftover portion of chili her brother was too stuffed to eat). "..........finishing off their kids' food after the kids have left the table, and after mom has already eaten a full meal". "oh," she smiled, "but, you're not fat?", she said, a little confused. "That's because I don't usually do this". And I don't, at least not anymore. There was a time as a kid when I used to leave the table feeling so stuffed. I wouldn't want to do anything but sit. That's kind of how I feel now. I hate that feeling.
So now, I'm feeling super stuffed, and just want to sit in front of the TV. I even have a craving to end the meal with something sweet, and am contemplating making some brownies. This is absurd, but eerily familiar to many of you reading this. How is it that our kids can leave 1/2 piece of chocolate birthday cake on their plates, while we wait, stalking their plates and rushing in to finish off their leftovers faster than they can get out of their seats?
Is it a natural progression of motherhood, possibly a side effect of changing hormones, lack of sleep, and worry that causes us to switch to elastic waist bands and skirted bathing suit bottoms? Do we throw up our hands and say, "well, I'm just built like my mom.........". I don't think so!
While things like hormones, inadequate sleep, and stress play a major role in weight gain, I want to jump out on a limb and suggest that the reason many moms fight with their weight may have more to do with mindless eating. You know what I mean, what my friend calls "momma tax", taking that first handful of chips when you open the bag for your son, or sneaking french fries off of their plate when their back is turned.
O how about the taste tests when cooking? How many spoons of that spaghetti sauce do you need to taste before being satisfied it will taste right on your plate? (For me, its five or six!) I also like to drink wine while I cook. It makes me feel as sexy and talented as Nigella Lawson. But these bites don't really count because its not a meal, its not on a plate, I'm not sitting down, right? I mean, I eat really healthy! I don't overeat, really!
The truth is, we all tend to underestimate the amount of food that we eat throughout the day. In one study published in the Journal of The American Dietetic Association, comparing actual food consumption to reported food consumption, women tended to underestimate their daily food intake by up to 500 calories per day. In as little as an extra 100 calories per day, we can gain 10 1/2 pounds in a year. Ten pounds may not seem like much, some of us gain and lose this much on a regular basis. But what happens when we're not paying attention? What happens when we are so busy with our lives that it feels like there is no time to deal with the tightening of our jeans or the loosening of our belt? How fast a decade goes by, and ten pounds becomes 100!
How would our habits change if we knew we had to run an extra 30-60 minutes just to make up for the calories we consumed throughout the day in mindless eating?
Food is good. It nourishes our bodies. It gives us energy to move, to work, to play with our family. It gives us nutrients to make our skin glow, our hair grow, and to allow our brains to comprehend a flurry of stimuli and arrange it into manageable pieces. Food is part of our social rituals, a sign of sympathy, a form of charity. We must re-learn to appreciate food for the ways in which it can add to our lives, in order to become mindful eaters.
Mindful eating is eating intentionally: choosing food based on its qualities, not its proximity. It is choosing food because it not only tastes good, but because it does good things for us. When we begin to live our lives as mindful eaters, things like weight gain, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, and debilitating disease start to disappear. It can start with the next bite..............
So now, I'm feeling super stuffed, and just want to sit in front of the TV. I even have a craving to end the meal with something sweet, and am contemplating making some brownies. This is absurd, but eerily familiar to many of you reading this. How is it that our kids can leave 1/2 piece of chocolate birthday cake on their plates, while we wait, stalking their plates and rushing in to finish off their leftovers faster than they can get out of their seats?
Is it a natural progression of motherhood, possibly a side effect of changing hormones, lack of sleep, and worry that causes us to switch to elastic waist bands and skirted bathing suit bottoms? Do we throw up our hands and say, "well, I'm just built like my mom.........". I don't think so!
While things like hormones, inadequate sleep, and stress play a major role in weight gain, I want to jump out on a limb and suggest that the reason many moms fight with their weight may have more to do with mindless eating. You know what I mean, what my friend calls "momma tax", taking that first handful of chips when you open the bag for your son, or sneaking french fries off of their plate when their back is turned.
O how about the taste tests when cooking? How many spoons of that spaghetti sauce do you need to taste before being satisfied it will taste right on your plate? (For me, its five or six!) I also like to drink wine while I cook. It makes me feel as sexy and talented as Nigella Lawson. But these bites don't really count because its not a meal, its not on a plate, I'm not sitting down, right? I mean, I eat really healthy! I don't overeat, really!
The truth is, we all tend to underestimate the amount of food that we eat throughout the day. In one study published in the Journal of The American Dietetic Association, comparing actual food consumption to reported food consumption, women tended to underestimate their daily food intake by up to 500 calories per day. In as little as an extra 100 calories per day, we can gain 10 1/2 pounds in a year. Ten pounds may not seem like much, some of us gain and lose this much on a regular basis. But what happens when we're not paying attention? What happens when we are so busy with our lives that it feels like there is no time to deal with the tightening of our jeans or the loosening of our belt? How fast a decade goes by, and ten pounds becomes 100!
How would our habits change if we knew we had to run an extra 30-60 minutes just to make up for the calories we consumed throughout the day in mindless eating?
Food is good. It nourishes our bodies. It gives us energy to move, to work, to play with our family. It gives us nutrients to make our skin glow, our hair grow, and to allow our brains to comprehend a flurry of stimuli and arrange it into manageable pieces. Food is part of our social rituals, a sign of sympathy, a form of charity. We must re-learn to appreciate food for the ways in which it can add to our lives, in order to become mindful eaters.
Mindful eating is eating intentionally: choosing food based on its qualities, not its proximity. It is choosing food because it not only tastes good, but because it does good things for us. When we begin to live our lives as mindful eaters, things like weight gain, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, and debilitating disease start to disappear. It can start with the next bite..............
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