Balance

I had a patient come to see me the other day for help with weight loss, Mia. Her story is a great illustration of the phenomena of the rise in obesity in the US today. Mia came from the Philippines. In her home, she spent her days walking to and from classes at the university in which she worked. Her meals were always home cooked, using fresh ingredients that were often harvested and purchased within days of cooking. At age 30 she moved to the US, and within two years she gained 45 pounds.

When I asked Mia her thoughts on what may have been the root cause of her weight gain, she stated that she just hasn't been able to find that "balance" that American women have.

Balance : (from Mirriam-Webster online dictionary) : stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of a vertical axis ; physical equilibrium ; an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements ; (and my most favorite) mental and emotional steadiness.

I imagine a balanced life like a perfectly executed yoga pose....... held for hours. Can we truly have an equal distribution of life on each side of ourselves?

Images from tv, magazines and film begin to run through my mind. Pictures of a thin woman running on the beach at sunset,............a mom in a suit smiling peacefully as she hands her son his lunchbox before getting on the bus,.............a woman sitting in a very clean kitchen, having tea with her girlfriends while their toddlers play quietly in the other room.................

One great thing about having a photographer for a husband is having the opportunity to see what really goes into these photo shoots. Not only are the "mothers" models, but the perfectly behaved and groomed children, and even the settings are carefully selected and styled.

Our search for balance, and wholeness, can be a bit misguided, and often discouraging. Somehow we feel we've failed if we find it difficult to juggle going to work, taking our kids to practice, taking a class ourselves, read a book, meditate, go on a date with our spouse, and spend a half hour in meaningful conversation with our children ( and we're expected to add healthy eating and exercise to all of that?????????)

I was so happy when Desperate Houswives first came out with a character (Lynette) who was totally overwhelmed with her role as mother. Unfortunately over the years, her character has morphed into a superwoman, able to bring home the bacon, defeat corporate blockheads, single-handedly manipulate her husband to do whatever she wants, and tame unruly teens and grumpy old women.

Today's examples of women leave us desperately seeking to be so much more than we are. And my question to Mia is, "do American women really have balance?". Are we even searching for the right thing? I think what we are really looking for is peace. The peace we achieve through knowing our true loves, and our strengths, and focusing our lives around this. The peace that helps us get through the chaotic and trying times so we can enjoy the rest.

Mia's life was far more "balanced" in the Philippines than here in America today. And my advice to her was incredibly simple - quit trying to live like an American, and live like a filipino. She was skeptical. But healthy living isn't complicated. It starts with simple changes like buying fresh foods, and spending more time on your feet. Make one small change in your life each week, and see how easy it is to bring the balance into your life again.